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The Miser's Will V: Reading The Will

from by Tom Slatter

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Black carriages gather in the snow in mourning clothes the family wait
The executor voice frozen snow clears his throat and begins to read the will

“To my nephews I leave nothing to my nieces even less
to my daughters not a single penny and nothing goes to all the rest
I will leave you all that you deserve
I will leave you all that you have earned
I will leave you nothing, but what you gave to me”

Stop there, cried out all relatives
We all deserve our inheritance
We'll not be denied all that's owed to use
We will not be denied

To my debtors I condemn you my detractors I ignore
my leeching goddaughters I damn you
My sisters both are cheating whores
I have found my own solution
A place for all my wealth
A noble cause, a just investment I'll keep it for myself|

Stop there cried out all the family
What can he mean by that?
We were there to see him in his grave
We made sure that he was dead

As they shook there heads in confusion the door was tossed aside
A monster wreathed in steam appeared a golem made of iron
It's hulk was black and twisted, eaten up by wind and sea
It's claws were leather, gleaming steel
It's voice a piston's hiss
The last time you saw me alive
Was not the last time I lived

Encased in iron where it's head should be
Floating in a jar of chemicals
Fizzing with electricity
Sat the brain of the miser

Hello my family, I have returned
What you buried in that hole in the ground was nothing
a shell, a useless husk
I am new, I am better I am made to live again

Goodbye you vultures, what I am now
A corpse of metal you can't devour
Powered by steam and strange alchemy
Beyond all disease and injury
good bye you leeches, goodbye you fools
My fortune is mine and mine alone
I have planned and plotted and murdered too
I'll keep my fortune for myself
You thought you'd take your fill once I was gone
But I'll keep it all.


from Ironbark (2016 expanded edition), released May 23, 2016


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Tom Slatter London

A latter-day Victorian street-theatre barker with a guitar promising tales of mystery, imagination, ‘orrible murders and bloody great waving tentacles’ is how Tom Slatter has been described. Since 2010 he has been scaring audiences with five albums and numerous EPs of storytelling songs. ... more

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